Women without kids have a home
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- November
- 20
As some of you know, I am undecided if I ever want to have children. Well, if I do make up my mind to never become a mommy, there is club out there for me:
Westchester’s Wonderful Women Without Children Club.
“First off, this not a group this is a club,” said Founder Judi Brome. “When you hear the word group you think of support group or of a place where someone needs to be helped. There is nothing wrong with us and nothing here has to be fixed.”
The Yonkers resident started the group about four years ago.
“Women from all ages are part of the club, straight women, gay women, married women and single women,” Brome said. “We get together monthly to validate ourselves and acknowledge ourselves. We give encouragement to each other that we don’t get from society.”
She said that women without children are frowned upon.
“When you look in popular culture or in the media you always see a woman with kids, a woman going to have kids or a woman who has kids that are grown. Society at times make you feel as if you are not woman enough and feminine enough if you do not have kids.”
Women who are a part of the club do not have children for a variety of reasons: some do not want any, some have fertility issues and some are like me-unsure.
Brome, however; said that she made the conscious decision to not have children.
“Having a child is not just getting pregnant, but it is also about having a partner who is worthy of being a father. There really was not a viable pool of men for me who I thought would make good fathers. Dating is one thing, but to have a child with someone is serious.”
Brome said she is living a child-free lifestyle.
“I am child-free!” she declared. “People have said I am child-less, like my life is less than or lacking something like I am homeless or penniless,” she laughed. “I am child-free, a positive word like care-free or debt-free.”
She said that she sometimes wonders what life would be like with kids, but overall she is happy.
“I love it, I am not depressed about it or dwell on it. I am happy, I am in a good relationship and I have a full life.”
She wants to make it clear that her club does not discriminate against women with children.
“We are not against anybody,” she said. “We all have choices. I am trying to show that this is a positive and viable lifestyle like a lifestyle with kids, a gay lifestyle or any other.”
For more info on the Wonderful Women Without Children Club call Judi Brome at 914-320-8672.
Caption: Judi Brome of Yonkers is the founder of the Wonderful Women Without Children Club in Westchester (Danielle De Souza/The Journal News).
This entry was posted
on Thursday, November 20th, 2008 at 2:57 pm by Danielle De Souza.
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Super article…I am a recepient of your info re monthly gatherings, etc. and I am annoyed with myself for not making it important enough to have yet to get to one of your gatherings. THANK YOU for keeping me informed of your monthly gathering and I look forward to 2009 and particaption. Happy Holidays to All! Regards, Elizabeth
I am so glad to see this site. I am a women in my early 40’s who could not have children. when i am asked constantly why i dont have any and im frowned upon for not having any its awful and unfair for other wommen to judge me or somehow assume im unhappy with out children! im happy with out children and have done somethings it would be hard to do if i had several children. Im so glad you have this club unfortunatley i live down south in south carolina so im on my own down here. I applaud you for doing it in your area. Thanks much
Hi all,
I am a 42 year old happily married with no kids. My husband and I have been together for 16 years. I’m tired of people trying or not realizing to make me feel like an alien or guilty for my choice. I’m pretty happy overall. We travel, and volunteer. I’m in a major career change right now. Some how people who have certain strict views feel they need to change me, because I don’t have kids, to make me a better person. That’s what makes me feel sick. I laugh to myself when I hear “oh your 42 you and your hubby better get crackin”. That’s a personal statement, to someone you just met,and people should use their filters before they say that. I don’t think people realize what they say. My own Dr. would say somethings like that but she was an obgyn and delivered babies for a living. She was promoting her business. I used to get annoyed with those statements. Volunteering is a way that I make myself feel full filled in helping others. There are plenty of kids out there who need mentors. How many times have you heard “my son doesn’t listen to me”. I wish some people would realize what they say first and look at other ways of doing things that are just as positive. I’m very happy with my husband and we are happy with our choice. I grew up being the oldest in my family and in my generation. I grew up being the responsible one and always baby sitting. After a live in nanny job for 3 boys, I took a long break from kids and worked on my own personal growth. I’m working towards a care giving career that I know is full filling for me. Thanks so much for this post and blog. I absolutely think we need a group of women like this to know there are more of us out there. It’s a choice and made responsibly. We are not lazy or have a lack of faith.
Hi,
I am 51 and have no children. I have felt so much like a lone entity for a long, long time. I meet people in different settings and they are interested in getting to know me and spend time with me until they find out I’ve never been married and have no children. Then it’s as if they’ve just discovered that I’m carrying the plague. I have a few friends who are married without kids and they say that they get the same treatment when they are with other couples who have children. In fact one couple found that if they wanted to be a vital part of their church they would need to adopt or continue to be “outsiders”.
When I lived in a large urban area it was easier to find women without children, but I prefer and live in a rural area and people without children here are treated like wolves on a sheep ranch.
Anyway, it was wonderful reading that there are many like myself just wanting to be accepted for the fantastic people that we are!
Thanks Judi