I’m a city girl. So when I went to a Putnam County farm today to cover this really neat event that features sculptures displayed on farmland, I felt compelled to do something adventurous — like successfully walk down a steep hill in wedge sandals.

Farm owner Sandy Saunders greeted me with a smile and and dirty handshake and offered me a lift around the site.

I said either would do, not thinking he would pick the grumbling farm contraption. We would get better views from it, he claimed.

He told me to hop on and pointed to the side fender. Oh. I’m so glad I wore a skirt today, I think.

(AP photo/Morry Gash)

Once I climbed up (actually, I think Sandy dragged me up), I realized there would be no note-taking on this wild ride. The tractor started with a grumble.

“Two hands if you’re a beginner!” Sandy said.

For a second, I didn’t know what he meant until he began to back up the tractor and quickly tightened my grip on the sides.

More like two hands if I wanted to live to enjoy my Saturday night.

The tractor lurched, bounced and bumped down the rocky, dirt driveway and up into the fields. I tucked my body in as best as I could to avoid the giant wheels that spun right next to my legs.  I’m convinced the cattle were chuckling at me.

As we sped through the pastures, I wondered if every low-hanging branch and large boulder we barreled into would be the one to knock me off. I pondered the next day’s headlines if I got tossed under the roaring machine. Would I still be required to file my story from a hospital bed?

Sandy enjoyed the ride, though, happily pointing out his favorite sculptures. I, on the other hand, made mental notes of who I would want to have my car and DVD collection.

We even made a stop to break up a beef between two cows (come on, I had to use that pun, admit it.)

But after an hour of jolting and bobbing and fantasies of death, I climbed down for the last time and thanked Sandy.

Some people look for profound meaning or revelation in experiences that scare them. All I got was a sore back and a pen-stabbed knee.

So what can I tell people who might ride on the side of a tractor one day?

Never look down and never, ever loosen your grip.